Out to Lunch by Ballis Stacey

Author:Ballis, Stacey [Ballis, Stacey]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Penguin Group US
Published: 2013-12-03T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

I walk in my door at a little after midnight. I’m hoarse from singing; Wayne and I did car karaoke all the way home. As soon as I come through the door, Chewie and Volnay come running down the hall to greet me in a happy jumping pile of dog. There is a note on the side table from Benji saying that they are fed and walked and that he cleaned up the mess in the kitchen, and that I should move my plastic goods out of the lower drawers, which Chewie has apparently figured out how to get into, and that I’m going to need more Saran Wrap and Ziploc bags.

“Dog? In case you were curious? This whole Marley and Me act you have going on is not cute, and you are not getting a movie deal.” Chewie looks at me quizzically. “And you? Are you not supposed to be training him?” I say to Volnay. She looks up at me as if to say that he is adopted and apparently this is nature not nurture.

“I give up. And I’m too tired to complain. Time for bed.” But as I head to the kitchen to get Chewie in his crate, he shoots right up the stairs with Volnay. By the time I get up there, they are both curled up on my bed. I’m feeling a little cramped from the long hours in the car, and decide to leave them there while I take a hot bath. As the tub fills, I think about everything Wayne and I talked about.

“He’s not so bad, when you scratch the surface, huh?”

He’s got his moments.

“Admit it, you like him.”

I’m getting to know him. And I like him more than I did.

“You like him.”

I still don’t get it. I mean, okay, I can see that he has the ability to be somewhat less constantly irritating than I have previously experienced. But that still doesn’t explain him being your grand passion. You loved everything cosmopolitan and sophisticated. Your favorite word was elegant. You wanted everything in your life to be beautiful. How did you end up with Wayne? I mean, seriously. Not being a total waste is one thing, I can see that he has some qualities, but that is a far leap to love of your life.

“You’ll see.”

I strip off my clothes, put my hair in a bun on top of my head, and lower myself into the steaming water. Suddenly I bolt upright.

You don’t have some weird creepy fantasy about me getting together with Wayne, do you?

“Okay, GROSS. If there weren’t a strict no-ralphing-in-heaven-policy, I would totally throw up right now. I just meant that you will see. You will eventually see why I adored him above all other people including you, and I hope you’ll see that you can have that too. With someone else. Because if you hook up with my not-so-merry widower, I will come back from the dead just to cut a bitch.”

Thank god.

I sink back into the water, letting the heat soak into my bones and relax my muscles.

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